How Breaking Bad is like the Little League World Series

I’m not insane, and this isn’t the dumbest comparison you’ll ever hear, but it’s close.  I realize comparing a show about a man’s slow descent from Edward James Olmos in “Stand and Deliver” to Denzel Washington in “Training Day” with the August rite of passage for 10-12 year olds in the baseball playing world is patently ridiculous on its face.  I want to assure you that this is not about Danny Almonte and the oldest twelve year old you’ve ever met.  No, this is about the general structure of the Little League World Series, and its similarities to Walter White’s rise to power.  A note about spoilers: They are prevalent after the jump.

We are all unfamous celebrities.

I simultaneously love and hate going to book signings. I love going to book signings because I like hearing the author speak and answer questions, especially a guy like Chuck Klosterman, whose business card should just read “Professional Conversationalist” and we should all just agree that he doesn’t have to pay for things anymore. He’s a national treasure.

Scheduled Posts

As part of an effort to get me to actually post more on this blog, since at least 1100 times, people have been intrigued enough to click over to it, I'm going to start doing regular posts, and trying my best to create some type of schedule, which could change or be scrapped in an instant if I find that others really don't like it.

Mondays: Entertainment/Sports/TV/Movies or something
Wednesdays: Dorky rants about the English Language
Thursdays: Politics/News/World Events

As always, please post in the comments section.  Call me a dickhead, tell me I'm as ugly as my opinions, anything.  Hurl your empty liquor bottles at me as a way to exorcise your personal demons, electronic-style.

Because No One Asked, The Star Trek Movies: Ranked, Grouped, Unexplained. UPDATE: Now with 7.4% more rankings!

This list, with grouping descriptions, includes films from the Original Series cast, the Next Generation cast, and the JJ Abrams Star Trek* movies.

The Americans review: "The Colonel"

In these games without borders, knowledge is the most dangerous weapon. The Season 1 Finale of FX’s The Americans saw the KGB and the Jennings bring the gun to the proverbial knife fight. My review to follow, but first, I need to catch my breath and think of an episode specific reference.

NBC's Hannibal strikes a comfortable tone. (With a warning to NBC on how NOT to screw it up.)

Serial Killers are en vogue right now, at least on TV.  A&E has “Bates Motel” which, if I were in charge of branding for A&E, I would’ve never let that get through.  It makes it seem as though the show is about the day-to-day operations of running a small, roadside motor hotel, in between the brutal murders of an embezzler, a police detective, and a third attempted murder.  Fox has “The Following,” with Kevin Bacon, which has ridden out many of the early hiccups and last-minute character alterations (I guess he’s… not an alcoholic anymore?) to have a fun, coherent, ever-changing show about a serial killer cult.  Showtime’s Dexter is wrapping up after this upcoming eighth and final season.  There are, of course, behavior science shows like SVU and Criminal Minds, but the other, more heralded and critically acclaimed hit is NBC’s Hannibal, a revival of Thomas Harris’s Hannibal Lecter character, including Jack Crawford as the director of the Behavioral Sciences unit at the FBI. There is a reason for why Hannibal has received its much deserved praise. The acting and plots have been fantastic, and the theme for the show, with a potentially insane criminal behavior forensic psychologist assisting the FBI, all add to the appeal. But, it is the tone in which the show is portrayed that truly sets it apart from the rest of the gory pack.

The Americans: "The Oath" Review

The penultimate episode of The Americans, “The Oath,” is jam-packed with plot developments.  I review it, but only after I’ve caught at least five grapes in a row, thrown from across the room by my daughter¹.

The Americans Review: "Covert War"

The Americans goes against orders (or does it?)  I review this week’s episode, just as soon as I understand that, in a covert war, there are rules.

The Americans: "Only You" review

Americanism and the Civil Rights Movement in The Americans’ “Only You.” It's time for another review of FX's Soviet-era Spy show, but first, I need to plant evidence in your apartment.

Modern Family Characters, Ranked.

This is a completely biased, personal ranking of Modern Family characters from least favorite to most favorite.  Your corrections, in the form of comments, are welcome.

The Americans: "Safe House" review UPDATED!

Phil the Sick Day parent, John Denver, and the Potato that saved the Western Hemisphere. It’s time for my review of this week’s episode of The Americans, “Safe House.” But, first, I need to return some salacious answering machine messages…

The Americans Review: "Mutually Assured Destruction"

Mutually Assured Distruction is both M.A.D. and a sleek reference to the Jennings’ marriage, and the philosophical underpinnings of the Cold War policy of pointing weapons of global annihilation at each other.  Fun for the whole family!  I review this most recent episode as soon as I figure out how kinky a KGB Assassin can be…

The Americans: "Duty and Honor" review

This week’s episode of The Americans puts at the forefront the perspective of th show, and the lack of knowledge we, as the audience, have over the character’s actions.  My review is after the jump, as soon as I finish this glass of Latour.

The Americans - "Trust Me" review

The Americans goes “Trilogy of Terror” in this week’s episode, “Trust Me,” which I review after the jump, just as soon as I brew my cup of tea infused with rectally smuggled African blood diamonds…

The Americans - "COMINT" review

It’s time to review this week’s episode of The Americans, a treatise on patience (Axl Rose did it first, and with a seemingly unending whistle solo.) Before I do that, I should probably attend a sexual harassment seminar.

The Americans - "In Control" Review

“The Americans” goes in to hyperdrive as Reagan forgets to duck, and we learn just how much of a foil Phil and Stan are for one another.  It’s time to recap the most recent episode of everyone’s favorite 1980s Soviet-based spy drama. But first I need to consult my Constitution regarding the presidential line of succession.

A modest proposal for a better network TV programming setup that is totally implausible because Network TV is a stupid, antiquated medium that will die a slow and painful death.

Jack Shepherd’s Tattoos.

Landry and Tyra kill a drifter just to get an erection (or something.)

Kim Bauer and the mountain lion.

The Puerto Rican Day Parade.

Great TV shows have awful episodes.  Why?  Because, Great TV shows, if they hang around long enough, run out of ideas.  How many times can terrorists kidnap Kim Bauer?  How many people from the tail section can crop up in LOST with an interesting backstory that – surprise! – isn’t congruent with their persona on the forbidden island of mystery and electromagnetism?

The Americans - "Gregory" review

Phil and Liz face ghosts from the pilot, a challenge to their attempts to make a real family out of their cover assignments, and Stan needs to start buying lottery tickets, because he’s right about EVERYthing in “Gregory” – episode three of the 1^st season of The Americans.  There was so much plot in this Thomas Schlamme-directed episode, they barely had time for the 80s breadcrumbs.  I’ll get to my review right after I change out of my racquetball shoes.

The Americans: "The Clock" Review

The mission-driven spy drama is on full display in the second episode of The Americans.  For those who wanted cloaks, daggers, and dead drops, “The Clock” doesn’t disappoint.  All that was missing was a self-destructing message.  I’ll be better able to speak about that as soon as I pull this speaker foam out of my esophagus.

House of Cards Reviews

I'm going to start reviewing the all-new Netflix-only series House of Cards¹ soon. Though this isn't Netflix's first foray into original programming (Bruce Springsteen's² guitarist and E Street Band Member Steven Van Zandt's Lilyhammer is going in to its second season - Little Steven will be away from the E Street Band while they are in Australia in order to be able to film this second season) though I have yet to watch it.